Weekend Warrior

OK I know it's really late...better late than never right?! I just finished Body Beast and a little max 30...BUT when I was workout I had some time to think...

It's Saturday night at 10:30 and 80% of my friends and people I know are out doing what we always did. I have ALWAYS been a Weekend Warrior...BUT I've changed the way I crush it.

I was THAT girl...center of attention, out Friday AND Saturday, smoking, drinking, drugs, partying my face off until we couldn't anymore then wake up feeling horrible and depressed...EVERY WEEKEND. There was always an excuse. I think my insecurities about myself really fuelled the whole thing..when I was out doing my thing I felt alive, I felt like a somebody, I felt like anything that was bothering me was masked and I could hide it even just for a little while. THE WORST PART though is I KNEW I was meant for bigger things and was better than that but I wasn't willing to put in the effort to make myself better, staying comfortable was easier.

This is the part that blows my mind...tonight I realized something...those feelings I tried to cover up by removing myself from my mind (literally) don't exist anymore. I don't have that NEED that can't be filled...i finally can live free from addictions and insecurities.

Don't get me wrong...I am still the same girl. I love to have fun, laugh, be with friends, FEEL ALIVE..but this time it's different. My health gives me a HIGH, no jokes...When I push myself to the point of throwing up because I am working so hard, not because I took too many shots. When I wake up super sore because I am training my body and not because I am struggling with a hangover. When I get a rush of vibrancy because I have endorphins, nothing else...ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING.

I will NEVER regret trading those nights for these nights. Tomorrow I get to wake up BETTER, STRONGER, HAPPIER and for once I AM in control over how I feel. STRONG is SEXY...failing your arms around on the dance floor completely convinced your the sexier girl alive IS NOT wink emoticon SO CHEERS and CONGRATS to all of you sticking to your goals, creating a beautiful life for yourself...YOU SHOULD BE SOOO SOO PROUD! it's not always easy but its damn worth it.