Weekend Warrior

OK I know it's really late...better late than never right?! I just finished Body Beast and a little max 30...BUT when I was workout I had some time to think...

It's Saturday night at 10:30 and 80% of my friends and people I know are out doing what we always did. I have ALWAYS been a Weekend Warrior...BUT I've changed the way I crush it.

I was THAT girl...center of attention, out Friday AND Saturday, smoking, drinking, drugs, partying my face off until we couldn't anymore then wake up feeling horrible and depressed...EVERY WEEKEND. There was always an excuse. I think my insecurities about myself really fuelled the whole thing..when I was out doing my thing I felt alive, I felt like a somebody, I felt like anything that was bothering me was masked and I could hide it even just for a little while. THE WORST PART though is I KNEW I was meant for bigger things and was better than that but I wasn't willing to put in the effort to make myself better, staying comfortable was easier.

This is the part that blows my mind...tonight I realized something...those feelings I tried to cover up by removing myself from my mind (literally) don't exist anymore. I don't have that NEED that can't be filled...i finally can live free from addictions and insecurities.

Don't get me wrong...I am still the same girl. I love to have fun, laugh, be with friends, FEEL ALIVE..but this time it's different. My health gives me a HIGH, no jokes...When I push myself to the point of throwing up because I am working so hard, not because I took too many shots. When I wake up super sore because I am training my body and not because I am struggling with a hangover. When I get a rush of vibrancy because I have endorphins, nothing else...ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING.

I will NEVER regret trading those nights for these nights. Tomorrow I get to wake up BETTER, STRONGER, HAPPIER and for once I AM in control over how I feel. STRONG is SEXY...failing your arms around on the dance floor completely convinced your the sexier girl alive IS NOT wink emoticon SO CHEERS and CONGRATS to all of you sticking to your goals, creating a beautiful life for yourself...YOU SHOULD BE SOOO SOO PROUD! it's not always easy but its damn worth it.

Cucumber Sandwich filled with Ham and Jalapeño Cream Cheese

OMGGG...tell me again how much your "diet" sucks...because this is OUTTA CONTROL! Here is a SUPER easy and healthy lunch idea!

Cucumber Sandwich filled with Ham and Jalapeño Cream Cheese

Cut cucumber down the middle and scoop out the guts with a spoon. Layer on ham slices. Mix chopped jalapeños with cream cheese and spread over ham... Put the cucumber back together and Voila! Sandwich without the bread .

You could also switch it up and fill it with turkey, cheddar and mustard!

21 day fixers...it's a green of cucumber, a red of ham (4 slices) and a half a blue of cream cheese!!!

Why I workout "SO MUCH"

Seriously...I can't even tell you how many times a week I hear people say things like...
"Why do you workout so much?"
"I could NEVER diet like you do"
"Your so skinny already, why are you trying to lose weight"
"You looked great in your before picture, I don't see what your trying to prove"

So I'm going to address this...

Let's talk for a second about my before picture. I was 170 pounds! I was a SIZE 11 pants. I don't care what anyone thinks, I FELT LIKE SHIT. I was tired, I felt tight and uncomfortable, I hated the way I felt in my clothes, I hated the way I looked naked, and I hated the way everything jiggled when I moved...So maybe I LOOKED ok in black clothes (yes, my ENTIRE closet was black and loose fitting), but I HATED the way I felt. I would run out of breathe walking up the stairs, how was i supposed to keep up with a toddler? I had MAJOR body image issues! The LAST thing I wanted to do was pass those onto my daughter. So a change NEEDED to happen for myself and for her.

Skinny is NOT my mission, it never was my mission! I want to be STRONG, lean, energetic and athletic. NOT SKINNY...so if I am skinny I'd better up my weights  lol

DIET??!?!?!! ohh PLEASE!!! I don't DIET people, I probably eat MORE than you do, I eat cheese, I drink wine, I eat chocolate, I LOVEEEE cheeseburgers...I eat SMART. thats the difference. I supplement SMART. I cheat SMART. Its all about the happy balance! OHHH and I'm a FOODIE! I really am, so I workout so I can eat what I LIKE. I don't starve, I don't "shake" myself to death, I don't deprive myself my any means...

I workout because ITS THERAPY! It makes me feel ALIVE, it clears my head, it gives me patience, it gives me energy, it is "ME" time, it allows me to set an amazing example, ANNDDD there is nothing like the feeling of getting to wear the clothes 170 pound KC didn't get to!

MY POINT...Taking care of yourself shouldn't be a chore. Taking care of yourself is a BLESSING!!! Do you have ANY idea how many people would LOVE to be able to workout as hard as you can? Or to be able to eat the foods we have access to??? Or run around with their children and LIVE a healthy, fulfilling life?? I AM LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY, are you? I'm being EXACTLY who I want to be